Filed under: Pregnancy and Birth, Moms
Here are some things I am not going to miss about being pregnant:o. The sensation of having the only upper quarter inch of my lungs available for the task of processing oxygen
o. Having to hold my arms out for counter-balance when I lower myself to the toilet, lest I collapse abruptly onto the seat thanks to the growing inadequacy of my quad muscles
o. Misjudging the amount of space my belly requires while parking and being unable to get out of my car with one single shred of dignity intact
o. The esophageal corrosion caused by acidic stomach burblings
o. Having every vein in my body displayed in lurid bulging blue relief
o. Experiencing a miniature foot pressing painfully outward from my thin-skinned belly button area until I am absolutely, 100% convinced it is going to burst through in a horrorshow geyser of blood just like that scene in Alien
One thing I will miss, however:
o. Eating pretty much whatever I want, whenever I want
I know I'll have a lot of bad eating habits to break once the baby is here and it's time to start thinking about getting back into shape again, but what can I say, if having a bowl of ice cream every night at 10 PM during my entire third trimester is wrong, I don't want to be right. I can't even tell you how relived I was to pass the glucose test with flying colors, because oh, the SUGAR cravings with this pregnancy. In fact, I liked that glucose drink-how gross is that?
I normally spend a lot of energy thinking of foods as being "bad" or "good" (like most of us do), and it's nice to just put that all aside for a while and eat whatever the hell my body wants. Even if it's fourteen Peppermint Patties followed by a handful of pretzels. With some green olives afterwards. And, um, a donut.
Oh, don't nag, it's not like I don't take a vitamin each day. (With a cookie chaser.)Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments
